Hiya. It’s been a while. I’m writing to say that as I readjust to life within your borders, there are a few things you could kindly do to make this transition a little easier for me. I will enumerate them below. Thanks in advance for your consideration.
1. Please drive and queue (line up) nicely. It’s nice to be organised.
2. Serve cream teas (English breakfast tea + a scone with clotted cream and jam) everywhere. A rodeo, garden center or Jiffy Lube? All good occasions for tea. Because let’s face it … every occasion is a good occasion for tea.
3. Don’t shoot me if I forget and think it’s OK to go for a walk across your privately owned land.
4. Laugh if you like or ask for a translation, but please don’t correct my Brit speak every time I use a foreign-sounding word. My friend Matthew would tell you that the British way is the right way anyway … they had it first. ;)
5. Forgive me if I consider voting for the queen as a write-in on my presidential election ballot. I mean, have you seen her? She’s brilliant.
6. Please don’t think I’m strange or forward if all my texts end in Xs. They’re easier and better than smileys, and more affectionate. Thanks. xxx