Sober.

I’m up early this morning. Extra early. The kind of early that hurts.

My eyes are full of sandpaper, but my mind is running all-out sprints, like it’s on an episode of Supermarket Sweep and trying to get to the diapers and “grind your own coffee” aisle faster than anyone else.

It’s like those moments in college when you wake up and on the way to the bathroom bump into a friend who never went to bed the night before. It feels like my mind’s been up drinking Mountain Dew and eating Whatchamacallits and writing Analysis of Lit papers all night, just waiting for morning to crack open the sky so the rest of the world would wake up and join it.

Not cool.

But it can’t be reasoned with. So I go ahead, get on up and make a cup of tea.

When I’m not exhausted, I love the early hours. Jesus is there. His Word is loud in the mornings when the house is quiet and my soul is quiet.

But it’s still hard to hear if my brain is causing a ruckus all its own.

I switch on the lamp and sink into the chair. I need this. I do every day, but especially today. I’m in a season of crazy. Work’s been so busy this month that carving out time to sit with Jesus has taken incredible effort and discipline. Some days, even with effort, it doesn’t happen. Some days it costs sleep when sleep is small and precious. Some weeks it means I’m sleeping next to an unfolded pile of clean laundry for nights on end.

But that laundry not getting folded doesn’t cause my soul to fray at the edges.

Not getting enough Jesus does.

So in that regard, I’m grateful I’m up early.

But even wide awake in the 4 a.m. silence, getting my soul to quiet down today is like wrestling a toddler to sit still in church. It doesn’t need to be running up and down the pews, drawing on things, making noise. It doesn’t need to be running over grocery lists and scheduled meetings and stories that need writing and espresso beverages that need making in the next 18 hours.

What it needs is to be still.

But in that moment, it won’t listen when I tell it that that’s for later — right now it’s time to be quiet. Because you won’t make it through the day without it.

I rub my gritty eyes and sit in the silence, staring at the words I want to soak past the cloud of thoughts and into my heart. I read the words of 1 Peter aloud, over and over to my wildly running mind.

“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

Action is definitely a concept my brain gets. It’s had its running shoes on all night. All month. Like a boss, if it can say so. Commute to work, commute to second job, buy groceries, get gas, make lunch, lay out clothes, pack bags, sleep, repeat insanity.

But I’m not sure that’s what Peter’s talking about. The Word is loud on that point.

Prepared for action. Sober-minded, not just cranking out thoughts. My mind is to be disciplined just like my schedule — a weapon locked and loaded to make every moment count, but not running wildly in the moments where preparation is more important than action.

Like I make my schedule sit still, I have to make my mind sit still, too.

I have to trade the chaos of a toddler for the discipline of a soldier, a mind hopped up on Mountain Dew for a mind locked on the hope of Christ.

That’s not easy.

But Jesus never said it would be easy.

He just told us He would give us all of Himself if we give Him all of ourselves — our mind, our soul, our strength.

Our heart.

So practically that means I have to call upon His strength to sit my heart still. I have to do what it takes to settle my spirit on God. I read verses over and over aloud, soaking them in, emphasizing their words to my heart. I journal out what those words are asking me to do when I get up in a few minutes, put on my shoes and let my mind start running.

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And as I sit in the car in the parking lot of my job preparing myself for the next thing, I pray for God to instill those words in my heart, in my day. That, as Peter said, I would honor others more than myself. That I would show love to everyone. That I would be prepared to give an answer for the hope that I have. That with my conduct, I could win those I live among even without a word.

And that more than anything, I would live with a mind set on the One who gave everything so that I could live as those who are free.

I think sometimes we have a tendency to live like having a mind set on God makes everything weighty and serious. And in a way, that’s true. It’s eternal hope we’re dealing with.

But in reality, fixing our minds soberly on God in every detail of our day releases our anxieties into His hands and gives us freedom.

Freedom from being ruled by the tasks of the day.

Freedom from living like I’m in survival mode.

Freedom from the world.

Freedom, because what can man do to me when I have everything in God?

Nothing.

So this morning, I breathe.

Be sober, Grace.

Know where your hope is fully found.

Think like it. Live like it.

And carry that still certainty in your heart all day long.

*****

Sober-minded

 

 

 

(@gracefortheroadblog on Instagram.)

15 Comments on “Sober.

  1. Thanks so much for writing these thoughts down. I shared with my sister who is walking a familiar, cancerous road with her husband. We love him much and will miss him terribly. She can’t breathe these days. He’s not gone yet, but the anticipation of that call home is heavy on all our minds.

  2. We panic when God tries to slow us down. We think we have to stay on top of things. In reality, it’s freedom. Really grateful for this.

  3. Thank you for your words! There’s so much feeling in every one of them; it’s so good to know one is not alone in this struggle. I very much enjoy and benefit from reading your blogs!

  4. Wow, this is quite good! My own life right now resonates with these words so much! Thank you for writing this and God bless!

  5. You have a very special way of communicating not only your thoughts but your emotions. Thank you for your authenticity. I am looking forward to reading your book.

  6. Reblogged this on pruning the twig and commented:
    I woke up early today and the words on this post has truly resonated within my soul. Want to share some lines that has touched me.

    “But Jesus never said it would be easy.
    He just told us He would give us all of Himself if we give Him all of ourselves — our mind, our soul, our strength.
    Our heart.
    So practically that means I have to call upon His strength to sit my heart still. I have to do what it takes to settle my spirit on God. I read verses over and over aloud, soaking them in, emphasizing their words to my heart.”

    “I think sometimes we have a tendency to live like having a mind set on God makes everything weighty and serious. And in a way, that’s true. It’s eternal hope we’re dealing with.
    But in reality, fixing our minds soberly on God in every detail of our day releases our anxieties into His hands and gives us freedom.”

    “…Freedom, because what can man do to me when I have everything in God?
    Nothing.”

    I really like the part about releasing all to Christ and experiencing freedom in and through Him…

  7. Grace, you bless me so much! I so look forward to meeting you someday in eternity. Someday when we will be able to look back over the triumphs and the struggles, the joy and the pain and see all that God was doing. All His purposes revealed and His providence made known. Sometimes He let’s us in on some of the secrets early, but so many are still shrouded in mystery. And yet what freedom we have in trusting Him! What peace and joy in the blessed realization that we are not in control! The one who set the planets spinning has charted my course. How blessed I am to be able to rest fully in His strong arms, trusting in His blessed will! Thank you for always calling us to the higher road, the road where Jesus walks with us. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it!

  8. Thank you Grace for this reminder and these truths. I love your heart. Thank you for pointing me back to Christ, over and over again. Your friendship is invaluable.

    Favorite quote:

    “I think sometimes we have a tendency to live like having a mind set on God makes everything weighty and serious. And in a way, that’s true. It’s eternal hope we’re dealing with.
    But in reality, fixing our minds soberly on God in every detail of our day releases our anxieties into His hands and gives us freedom.”

  9. Your words are clean and crisp, calling me to the same task of setting my hope fully on the grace that will be brought to me at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!
    and thank you.

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