You feel vulnerable?
That’s the message I got from a friend after “I Don’t Wait Anymore” stopped floating around in non-reality and found itself in the hands of a few friends, family and strangers a few weeks ago.
Yes. Yes I do feel vulnerable.
I’ve felt uncomfortable. Exposed. Fidgeting on the couch while my biggest failures and most gut-wrenching moments with God float around out there in people’s living rooms and cars and Kindles.
All the things.
But after the shock hit my soul and I realized this new form of transparency wasn’t gonna kill me, something different happened. I heard from some people. I heard from some who didn’t love it. But I heard from others who said this is my story, too. This is exactly my story.
Y’all. I’d love to have a cup of coffee.
It’s our story. And I’d love to hear how God is writing yours.
Sure, it’s my breakup, my broken dreams, my grief over losing a friend that’s all written down in there. It’s my wrestling with God as He broke me of my selfish desires and showed me who He really is and what He’s worth.
But a whole bunch of us have been there, that place where things didn’t work out the way we thought they should, and people were telling us to internet date even though we didn’t really want to, and at night we sat around and felt the restlessness and uncertainty well up from our bones while we watched reruns of Friends.
A whole bunch of us have been in that spot where God didn’t really feel super close, and what felt super close instead was the disappointment of another failed fertility treatment, or the pain of putting a coffin in the ground.
A whole bunch of us have been in that spot where we didn’t quite know where to go from here and thought is this what God’s about? Do I even want any part in this?
A whole bunch of us have struggled.
But I’ve heard from sisters and brothers who are drinking their cup of coffee on the other side of the struggle, having tasted God and thrown everything else down to chase Him as the prize and let Him write the story of their lives.
We’ve all got scars. We all still struggle. But we’ve got stories to swap of the way God brought us to the point of total surrender. Peace in the midst of pain. Inexpressible, glorious joy.
It’s made me thankful, hearing from you guys. Thankful for a God who chases us. Thankful for the journey that He has us all on, the one where we can see His love pursuing us with intentionality if we’ll just look.
It’s made me glad our paths have converged.
But it’s also made me thankful hearing from you sisters and brothers still fighting the restlessness and uncertainty in your bones. It’s a familiar spot … and I’m holding out a hand to you, friend. If you want to grab onto this story and see if it’s yours too, with trembling heart I say give it a read. But with a steady voice I’ll tell you one thing.
That joy, that peace … it’s real. He’s real. He’s worth everything. Make your life about knowing Him, and when hard things come, you’ll see — it’s different. He’ll never, ever disappoint.
It’s a story you’ll never get tired of telling … or of living.
Are you ready to let go? Or at least ready to think about it?
His story’s just waiting for you to reach out and grab it.
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